UPDATE on Boy's Discipline

I posted on the 19th of December asking for advice about a boy of mine who is very clingy. I want to stress that I have nothing against emotional vulnerability or even clinginess but are thing I value is self-sufficiency. I provide discipline for two boys. One is very self-sufficient. The other, not so much. 

In short he asks for things from me which he should be providing for himself at least at this stage of his development as a disciplined boy.

Thankfully I received some very good advice from my Patrons.

Here is the advice I received:

  • Take away his phone privileges
  • Temporarily remove my presence in his life
  • Have him write a self-reflective essay
  • Restrict contact through reward system 
Two of these I didn't think suited me or my boy's needs. One I found helpful and the other was a really good idea. 

So first let's talk about the ones that weren't suitable. 
  • Taking away phone privileges (i.e. ordering him not to phone me) would restrict me from providing discipline he actually needs. 
  • I refuse to use withholding of affection as a form of punishment. I find it distasteful, unnecessarily cruel, and most of all lazy. 
Next let's move onto the helpful one:
  • Having him write an essay about why he thought the frequency at which he was contacting me was appropriate was a good tool. The real genius is, I told him I would never read it. I was still going to ask another woman to check his work to make sure he really did it. But I wanted to make sure that he was reflecting inwardly about his behaviour and not just saying what he thought I would like to hear. It put him in the position of having to think long and hard about his behaviour for his own sake not just for pleasing me. I think I will get him to do this more often with his faults. 

And lastly the most (immediately) affective:
  • The tried and true task and reward system. I would give him a time span and if he stuck to it he would get a reward. For example if he could go four days without contacting me, next time I came over he could put his head in my lap. (He finds this very comforting). He is also a real server so when I refuse coffee or snacks at his house he gets despondent. Next time I will let him serve me as much as he wants during a visit if he lasts a week. Obviously I will have to wait quite a while to know if this technique works long term but so far he is responding well. 

So Boys and Mistress' that's the update. I think this kind of clear directive coupled with the self-reflection of the essay will really get through to him. I love a good spanking and corner time as much as the next woman but these kinds of sophisticated discipline methods work better when molding a boy into a man. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Matriarchal Universes in Fiction

Image
For someone who writes a lot of matriarchal fiction I don't read a lot of it. Why? Because there is practically none to read.  My question is why? Why are people so uncomfortable with this? We have so many historical and fantasy based fictional universes with patriarchal societies. I understand that we see realism in that because it reflects our own history but what is with the reluctance to write or publish matriarchal works? They seem to be most present in science fiction and even then it tends to be a dystopian future with ALL female societies rather than a hierarchy more reminiscent of what we saw in our own patriarchal history. The most famous example of an all female society being Wonder Woman's homeland of Themyscira. Not that I don't love this character and Amazons in general but this view of men as the enemy never really sat well with me.  The closest I ever found was  'A Brother's Price' by Wen Spencer . It is still a dystopian fiction but it is a func...
Read more

Spanking Chronicles: Diaper Position

Image
So, here is one that is neither used frequently or infrequently. You will recognise it but it is less popular that many other positions on this list. This is one that can be quite painful for the sub in comparison to others but it is not torturous pain. It is also a very vulnerable position that can induce humiliation. It is commonly known as: The Diaper Position.  Description: Spankee must lie on a flat surface, on their back, and bring their legs into the air exposing their arse. Some mistress' will get their boys to hold their legs. This is good practice as it keeps the legs where the are supposed to be. They can also put their hands under their tail bone to elevate the arse somewhat, giving the mistress a better target.  Effectiveness. I recommend making the boy hold his legs up. Not only because it is efficient on keeping everything where it is supposed to be but also because it induces the feeling on participation in the spanking. He is not just lying there and letting i...
Read more

Spanking Chronicles: Over the Knee

Image
  This is the start of a series of blog posts I will be doing about different methods and positions of spanking, their effectiveness, their appropriateness, and how I personally feel about them.  So let's start with an old classic: Over the Knee Description: Over the Knee is pretty self explanatory. The spanker is sitting and the spankee lies across the knee with their arse either in the center or at the edge of one thigh. This is a position that is perfect for hand spanking but also permits the use of certain smaller implements. It's a position that is comfortable for both parties so focus can be placed entirely on the punishment. Effectiveness: This is very effective for boys who crave comfort or are prone to feeling guilty.  A quick punishment can be administered in this position if you want to administer corner time. If he has been standing for his punishment (especially a long one) you probably don't want to leave him standing in the corner for too long. It is effec...
Read more