UPDATE on Boy's Discipline

I posted on the 19th of December asking for advice about a boy of mine who is very clingy. I want to stress that I have nothing against emotional vulnerability or even clinginess but are thing I value is self-sufficiency. I provide discipline for two boys. One is very self-sufficient. The other, not so much. 

In short he asks for things from me which he should be providing for himself at least at this stage of his development as a disciplined boy.

Thankfully I received some very good advice from my Patrons.

Here is the advice I received:

  • Take away his phone privileges
  • Temporarily remove my presence in his life
  • Have him write a self-reflective essay
  • Restrict contact through reward system 
Two of these I didn't think suited me or my boy's needs. One I found helpful and the other was a really good idea. 

So first let's talk about the ones that weren't suitable. 
  • Taking away phone privileges (i.e. ordering him not to phone me) would restrict me from providing discipline he actually needs. 
  • I refuse to use withholding of affection as a form of punishment. I find it distasteful, unnecessarily cruel, and most of all lazy. 
Next let's move onto the helpful one:
  • Having him write an essay about why he thought the frequency at which he was contacting me was appropriate was a good tool. The real genius is, I told him I would never read it. I was still going to ask another woman to check his work to make sure he really did it. But I wanted to make sure that he was reflecting inwardly about his behaviour and not just saying what he thought I would like to hear. It put him in the position of having to think long and hard about his behaviour for his own sake not just for pleasing me. I think I will get him to do this more often with his faults. 

And lastly the most (immediately) affective:
  • The tried and true task and reward system. I would give him a time span and if he stuck to it he would get a reward. For example if he could go four days without contacting me, next time I came over he could put his head in my lap. (He finds this very comforting). He is also a real server so when I refuse coffee or snacks at his house he gets despondent. Next time I will let him serve me as much as he wants during a visit if he lasts a week. Obviously I will have to wait quite a while to know if this technique works long term but so far he is responding well. 

So Boys and Mistress' that's the update. I think this kind of clear directive coupled with the self-reflection of the essay will really get through to him. I love a good spanking and corner time as much as the next woman but these kinds of sophisticated discipline methods work better when molding a boy into a man. 

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